


Palm Readings & Mayhem

by upintheattic



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Character Study, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Work In Progress, evil benny, i wont tag it with the ship since its not really about that, i'll change or add tags as needed, kind of a, mbav, of sorts, some hurt, that was meant to be at first and it turned into something way longer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upintheattic/pseuds/upintheattic
Summary: After an argument Benny goes to the one person he knows that understands his ideas of using dark magic and learns it behind Ethan's back. Eventually it gets out of hand and Benny almost goes too far.
Relationships: Ethan Morgan/Benny Weir
Comments: 20
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter One: The Wheel of Fortune

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not use to having a word count above 2000 so hopefully this doesn't feel too dense or anything

“Think of these as training wheels,” grandma Weir told Ethan as she handed him a box of tarot cards, pendulums, books, and other odd assortments of items that one usually saw with some kind of fortune teller. “They’ll help summon your powers in a safe and convenient way while you learn to master your abilities.” 

He accepted the box with a wry smile. “Thanks, but do I really need all this? I’ve been able to have visions without this before.” In all honesty he just didn’t want to read through all the books that were written out in dead languages and he could barely begin to understand the basics, he was still impressed Benny could easily read Latin even if he was raised to understand it. 

“I know it seems like a lot and you don’t have to try anything you don’t want, but using something that helps channel your powers at will wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” She was right, of course. Because when could a Weir ever be wrong. “Go upstairs and Benny can decipher them for you with a spell or two. Lord knows that boy could use practice on his spell casting.” She laughed and guided him to the front of the old staircase that was likely no younger than 200 years old. 

“Oh, and Ethan?”

“Mhm?”

“Leave the door a crack open, okay? No need having too much fun with practice.” She smiled sweetly.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, of course.” He replied quickly, his ears red and his face hot as he rushed upstairs to avoid any more embarrassment. “No problem!” 

To distract himself from her comment he wondered how long the Weir family had lived in this house. Thinking about how much magic laid between all the nooks and crannies or how much of it seeped into the walls or floorboards from all the centuries. How much focus would he need to see visions of the past lives of the house and what knowledge would he unlock? The thought made him reconsider how seriously he would take this extra training.

He made his way up the stairs and like always walked into Benny’s messy room without knocking. Spell books, old relics, potion ingredients, and other oddities laid thrown around the room with little care no matter how ancient or fragile they could be. Benny himself was laying in his bed, his legs dangling off the side and his Bearded Dragon, Chewie, on top of his chest safely resting. 

“Hey dude! Did grandma finally finish giving you all that seer stuff? Bet there’s some cool things to look at,” he said, raising his head a little as not to move too much and disturb the large lizard on top of him. “I tried to see if I could cheat my way into using that stuff to take a peek at my future. Did not work out.”

Ethan gently rubbed the top of Chewie’s head with his finger, even with all the years of being familiar with each other he was still a little nervous to touch her. “That’s seer rule number one, dude. Can’t look into your own future. It’s meant to be like our one curse of having the powers or something. I could go magic crazy if I tried, I think.” Ethan sat on the edge of the bed beginning his search through the box to see where he’d start with his new readings. “You’d be fine but I don’t think things like tarot cards would really work for you anyways.”

“And why not, oh great seer?” Benny asked, slowly getting up and lifting Chewie back to her closure on the far side of the room.

“Spellcaster’s magic interferes with non-direct forms of fortunetelling. I can see your future, the cards can’t.” He pulled out a pendulum from the box, a small clear quartz crystal with a downward point that hung on a silver chain. “Can’t answer questions either. Like a compass next to a magnet.” To emphasize the point, he raised the pendulum close to Benny, the crystal very obviously pulling itself towards him in a way that defied gravity. 

“Oh, cool! I’m like a magical tectonic plate!” Benny laughed. “Would’ve been cool to know about that three broken crystals ago, though.” 

“You do realize your grandma told you that, like, last month? Do you really not listen when she lectures you? She’s probably told you this a hundred times now!” Ethan chastised him while absentmindedly wrapping the long chain around his hand and making an attempt to read through one of the books. He had a very vague idea of what anything meant.

“Hey! I listen!” Benny defended. “I just forget.”

“Right, obviously.” Ethan rolled his eyes playfully and poked Benny’s side with the book. “Now charm this for me, I want to read what I’m doing.”

Benny only had to touch the book at this point; he was getting exceedingly better at his magic studies, not that anyone really noticed. Even so, Benny was Benny and he always had to be extra about everything he did. 

“I don’t know, E. I’m feeling kinda drained maybe if you...” He was already grinning ear to ear as he leaned slightly closer to his boyfriend, Ethan immediately knowing what he was asking for. 

He huffed and pursed his lips poorly pretending to be annoyed with the request, but the act died when he closed the distance between them. A smile formed on his lips as he felt Benny put one hand on the book and the other holding the back of his neck so he wouldn’t pull away too soon, not that he was planning too. When the kiss broke, he could read the contents of the old thick book in plain English, the title written in fancy gold cursive: ‘The Beginner's Guide to Palm Readings and Inner Self Connections’. It wasn’t really the book he wanted.

“Lame! This is less psychic stuff and more about just looking at what’s tangible. It’s all visual and reading what’s there, it’s basically its own language.”

“Well, isn’t that like the main thing of a seer? Being able to look at that kind of stuff and know what it means?” Benny asked, laying next him on the bed. 

“Yeah… But anyone can do this.” Ethan answered as he started unwrapping the pendulum chain from his hand and putting it, along with the book, back into the cardboard box.

“Then just think of it as a warm-up. I do the same thing with chanting runes. There isn’t any real point since I know plenty of spells that don’t need spoken words, but... it feels good to build up intent, y’know?” Benny said, averting his gaze away from Ethan’s and feeling slightly embarrassed. He didn’t really like talking about how he got his inner magical gears working, so to speak. It felt silly. Besides, he just wanted an excuse to have Ethan hold his hands and talk for a while. Which just made him feel even more embarrassed. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s actually a pretty good idea, B.” Ethan smiled while flipping through pages, mostly just glancing at pictures. 

“Want to do it to me?” Benny asked, his cheeks a tint of pink that the other boy adored. “The palm reading, I mean.” He quickly added when Ethan blithely hit him on the side with the book. “But we could also, y’know, do that later too. If you wanted.” 

With another playfully punch Ethan eagerly agreed to do the palm reading for his boyfriend, interested in what he might find out.

“I kinda already know how this works.” He admitted. Jane at one point was very into trying out different forms of magic to see what would trigger her own abilities, if she had any. She practiced on him a few times, just enough that he picked up the concept fairly easily and could try out his own skills without reading the book. It was harmless enough.

“Give me your right hand,” they faced each other sitting on Benny’s bed. Gently Ethan held the taller boy’s hand with a soft and admirable fondness that made them lean into each other, a shiver ran up Benny’s spine. Even now, with their years of friendship and a year of dating, he still tended to melt into Ethan’s touch feeling a safety and warmth he wanted to stay close too. 

“Dominant hand means present, non-dominant is your possible fate,” he began to explain. “This is your heart line at the top of your hand and this is your head line under it… and that’s the life line next to your thumb… and your fate line is this one at the center.” 

Lightly he traced across each wrinkled line on Benny’s palm, talking attentively and softly as his voice drifted off trying to remember what it all meant. It became very quiet without Ethan speaking as he paused to think about what it meant if something was curved or straight or what it indicated if it was deep or faded, still he held onto his boyfriend’s hand staring at it with focus and interest. Half thinking about what to say next and half thinking about how much he liked Benny’s hands. They were bigger than his by an inch or two, strong and firm but still wary and soft. You could just feel the magic drip from his fingertips. A part of him wanted to memorize every curve and wrinkle and what they were meant to determine. 

Benny himself had been content to sit and let Ethan focus on what he was doing, he had a habit of hanging onto every word the other boy said. Enjoying the way his lips moved and the sound of his voice when he was serious or how it shifted into a lighter but solid tone when he was being playful. Benny could stare at Ethan for hours and still find new things to admire about him. He couldn't tell if it was the way Ethan would roll his eyes with fake annoyance while still smiling at his lame jokes or how he was always quick for physical affection, that drove Benny crazy and made him feel a pit in his stomach grow. His own desire to always feel close to his best friend was probably a bad thing when it came to monster fighting, an Achilles heel of sorts. Jesse thought Sarah’s attachment to Ethan was a weakness and she wasn’t that close to him at the time. What would that mean for him?

“So,” it was Benny to break the silence first. “What do the lines mean?”

Ethan pursed his lips tight together for a moment. “Well, for your heart line it’s your emotional state. Yours is pretty straight so it’s meant to be that you can be a bit more guarded or self-reserved about how you feel.” 

“Oh,” was all he could say. ‘Oh’ like he was hoping they could just gloss over that little fact no matter how true that might be. He tried to laugh it off half-heartedly but the way Ethan’s eyebrows knitted together said he wasn’t buying the poor attempt at reassurance. 

“You never really talk about how you feel. Even with me.” It was a statement instead of an observation. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

No, he thought, wishing he could be honest. But there wasn’t any right way for him to talk about how he felt about most things and if he did try there was the chance Ethan would realize that he wasn’t that good of a person. At least that’s how he felt about it. 

Reasoning it to their moral compasses not being the same; Benny had less of a limit than he cared to admit to anyone, especially to his boyfriend. He didn’t see the problem with using dark arkanian magic even if it was brutal or harsh. It got the job done, he reasoned. It got him what he wanted. And what should be even more troubling to him was that it was fun to use. The only thing really stopping him was Ethan. He couldn’t stand the idea of his best friend being mad at him for taking something too far or worse becoming scared of him.

“I know I can, dude. I just don’t have anything to say.” Benny deflected, a nervous smile pulling at his lips. Ethan squeezed Benny’s hand and searched his face for a sign that he was lying, worried and seeing right through him. They shifted in place, feeling a distance grow between them. “What?”

“Come on. I know when you’re lying, dude. You don’t need be defensive.” Ethan said, somber but still trying to be playful.

‘No, you don’t,’ Benny thought, wanting to curl in on himself. Ethan didn’t know a lot about his friend, at least, when it came to certain things. Like how he didn’t know that Benny practiced magic every second he wasn’t with him, reading runes and searching through books that were so old that they were more dust and mold than paper just to find spells that would make him useful. Make him feel he wasn’t powerless and incompetent, that he was needed within the team. That Ethan needed him. And before Benny could argue with his own brain that a bad person wouldn’t do that, he reminded himself that he looked for magic that was self-serving just as often. 

And when it really came down to it, Benny was a ‘by any means necessary’ kind of guy and his only problem with that was that Ethan would have a problem with it.

“What? No, I’m not.” Benny said defensively. His voice came out cool and a little harsh, he regretted his tone when he saw the look of rejection on Ethan’s face. “I just… I don't like talking about that kind of stuff.”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but if you want-”

“I don’t.”

He was split in half. He wanted to be just as honest to Ethan as he was to him, but in the same vein he was fearful of the reaction. “It’s just hard, y’know…”

“Would it help if we talked?” Ethan asked, his hands laying on top of the other boy’s, his thumb rubbing back and forth in comfort.

When all he got was a weak shrug in response Ethan added, “Does it have to do with evil Benny?”

‘Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!’

“No, E. It’s not that.” Benny said flatly. Although he was right, it still triggered a feeling deep in Benny’s gut, a flash of red-hot anger rising up in him for a moment. It faded as quickly as it came, he couldn’t ever really be mad at Ethan for long. “Can we just... drop it now? Please?”

“O-okay, sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to bring up evil Benny? They never talked about it before. This had to be the first time that being around Ethan had made him feel horrible about himself, usually being with his boyfriend reminded him he wasn’t as terrible of a person that he thought himself to be. But now it felt like he was burning up, as if Ethan could see right through him and would run away; his touch making his skin crawl instead of soothing him. It was an awful feeling that filled him with dread. 

He tried to shift his thoughts. Why couldn’t he be honest with his best friend? Would Ethan really judge him so harshly? He couldn’t be sure completely. 

Ethan continued to explain what the other lines meant and going on about how having a deeper or darker line meant you were more stable in that area. He ignored how light Benny’s heart line was, not wanting to upset him anymore. Benny was only half listening at this point, licking his lips and every once in a while, opening his mouth to almost say something before deciding against it and closing his jaw tight. An apology always just on the tip of his tongue, the right words alluding him at every attempt. He let himself sink into the feeling of unforgivable dread that was washing over him.

Where would he even begin in explaining himself? ‘I’m sorry I don’t want to talk about my feelings. I just don’t want you to realize that evil Benny isn’t really an overblown version of all my bad traits, but instead a very real personification of all my dark thoughts which there are many of! Because I’m kinda of a bad person and would likely be acting very much like him if it wasn’t for you basically keeping me in check all of the time!’ He couldn’t just say that.

He knew he didn’t really need to. Ethan would never push him into talking if he didn’t want to either and it’s not like he had to know what was going on in his boyfriend’s head all of the time. It was just so much easier to keep it bottled in. Keep Ethan on the outside of knowing and thinking he was just Benny, harmless and spotty at magic, his best friend who wouldn’t want to try dark spells just for fun or see what they felt like. But more than just that, he justified the want for more powerful magic as a way to improve his ability to fight monsters and help people. A true fact, maybe if he eased his way into explaining it wouldn’t be so bad. 

He weighed his thoughts; thinking how he does want to use his powers to help people, but he always wants to prove he’s capable and strong and that sometimes the mix of control and power messes with his head. Benny reasoned if Ethan knew he could help and do what he always did, remind Benny not to take things too far, keep him in line and then everything would be fine. But would Ethan see him differently was the question. He couldn’t stand the idea of that.

“Benny, listen.. I’m sorry.” Ethan’s voice broke into his train of thought, the apology making his gut drop. “I didn’t mean to be pushy or anything.”

No, don’t say that. Please don’t. Somehow this hurt more than not being honest.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to snap or anything…. I’m just not good with feelings. It’s complicated.” Benny sighed, feeling embarrassed and ashamed now. Ethan smiled sadly while he stared down at their hands, intertwining their fingers carefully as if he half expected Benny to pull away. Like he ever would.

“Sarah said the same thing. Maybe I am just pushy.”

“What? No,” Benny said, sounding more sardonic than he meant too. “You just care too much, sometimes. It’s not that bad.” He wasn’t doing that great of a job reassuring him, Benny goofed too much to ever be serious or he didn’t know how to be. At least, that’s what Ethan thought. Honestly thinking Benny probably forgot how to be serious. In all actuality he could be serious, he just didn’t like to be. And who did? 

Well, Ethan did for some odd reason or another. Benny reasoned it was a seer thing, all the books he’s read noted they just tended to be more inclined into wanting to read into everything, natural born observers and over thinkers. Not to forget most were empaths. None of that was comforting to Benny at the moment. 

“Let’s just stop with the palm readings. It’s not helping,” Ethan huffed, letting go of Benny’s hand and becoming increasingly annoyed but altogether sounding more disappointed than anything. “I’ll just stick with the basics.” 

“Don’t be like that, E.” Benny said, trying to pull him back closer. Both boys were getting frustrated with each other, which wasn't new. There were times they could go at each other's throats while arguing only to be going at each other’s throats in a more sensual sense hours later. They didn’t fight often and it was easy to get over it the moment it was done with, it was always surface level stuff that wasn’t too important anyways. This, however, was different and a lot more personal. “It’s not like I don’t trust you… I just don’t know where to start and I don’t want you to hate me for it.” 

Ethan forced a laugh at the thought. “Like I could ever hate you, dude.” 

Benny didn’t want to be having this conversation right now, this wasn’t how the night was meant to go. Ethan was meant to hold his hands and get spacey and overly focused on what he was doing like always, Benny would stare at him like he was the whole point the universe was made. They would get quiet and close with starry eyes and lean into each other and make out (Benny would think that kissing his best friend was magic all of its own). Eventually his grandma would get wise and cast away his door (again) with some benign spell, but it wouldn’t matter. They’d still be together, instead just playing video games with Ethan sitting on Benny’s lap and stay up too late on a school night again. But it would be worth it, because it’s always worth it. This was how it was meant to go, but him and his big untrusting and insecure mouth had to ruin it. Of course, it was his fault. Wasn’t everything?

“You know that I couldn’t hate you, right?” Ethan said as his voice became more serious.

“Yeah.” Benny replied shortly. “I know.” 

A part of him knew it but an even bigger part of him didn’t really believe it. Always playing tug-o-war with himself over this. 

“Then what’s the matter?” 

He wanted to set the conversion back to normal, get it back on track and save the night from either of them going to bed angry at each other. Although, it was becoming increasingly clear to Benny that was going to probably happen anyways and school would be one of two ways: full of awkward dancing around it or casual arguing with a lot of back and forths. The only brightside if he was lucky all of this would at least be over with and pushed away within a day. Then again, he was rarely lucky.

“I’m just worried,” Ethan said as his cheeks turned a dusty pink and he looked around the room to avoid Benny’s longing stare. “You know I care a lot about you.” He was smiling and dammit Benny would have kissed him if the moment wasn’t so serious. 

A part of him was dying to be honest. Maybe talking about it would help, what if he was overreacting? Maybe actually get some insight or understanding or something that makes him feel like he wasn’t as bad as his evil self, even if he knew they were one in the same. Ethan wasn’t scared of him after that day so maybe he wouldn’t hate him now. “It’s just that,” Benny began to say, Ethan looking at him intently ready to listen.

“Sometimes, I just think- I feel like,” he didn’t know how to find the right words. “Evil Benny wasn’t as evil as you think or at least he wasn’t as far off on how I feel sometimes.”

“You’re joking.” Ethan stared at him like he grew another arm, which wouldn’t have been new. When he saw the scared look in Benny’s eyes his own heart dropped. “You’re not kidding. Dude, are you crazy?” He held onto the sides of the other boy’s arms trying to find a tell that this was a shit joke. There was nothing.

“E, just listen to me,” Benny licked his lips. “I just think that he was right maybe I could-”

“Could what? Could take over the town? Hurt innocent people?” Ethan said, standing up and stepping away from his best friend to pace around the small room. Angry that he could even think that any of evil Benny’s actions could be justified.

“What? No! You’re not listening to me, Ethan. It would help people; we could do anything we wanted. We would be unstoppable in fights, just think how much easier it would be to use-”

“Dark magic?” He stopped pacing, his eyes as cool and sharp as ice.

“I would’ve said advanced, but… yeah.” Benny’s shoulders tensed as his fears were becoming real. He knew he should’ve kept his mouth shut, he knew Ethan wouldn’t understand. Why did he think for a second this would help? “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He added, sounding just as small as he felt, worried Ethan might think otherwise.

Ethan’s face dropped from anger to shame feeling like he overreacted for a moment. He sighed but kept his distance still. “I know, Benny. I know. I just don’t get how you can… when did you start-” He paused to figure out his words, biting the tip of his thumb nail. He shouldn’t have snapped so quickly but the thought that Benny felt the evil version of himself wasn’t that bad made his stomach turn. He remembered the way he talked, how he could mock the real Benny perfectly that even he couldn’t tell the difference. The things he said… how he wanted to take over the town, take whatever he wanted. It scared him that Benny could be corrupt in any way like that. But even as unethical (to put it lightly) as that Benny was, he still wanted Ethan by his side and that had to count for something.

“I’m not trying to be like him,” Benny said as if he knew what Ethan was thinking about.

“Okay.” It was the only thing Ethan could think to say, he believed what Benny said. Even confused and upset Ethan still gave his full trust to Benny. And on the other side of things, Benny still gave Ethan his full admiration. “I just need to think. I’m not mad, Ben. I just need… to process this. Can we talk after school?”

“Yeah, okay.” Benny agreed, the corner of his eyes wet and burning. He watched Ethan take his box of books and trinkets, observed how he paused to think before he kissed Benny’s cheek and quickly made his way out with a hollow bye. 

Benny fell back onto his bed. The events of tonight happened so suddenly, his head still spinning he couldn’t figure out how everything went so wrong so quickly. He wanted to scream, feeling awful. “Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit!” His throat burned. 

Sitting up his leg bounced, nervous and uneasy, he needed to get out of his room that felt very small and suffocating now. ‘I just need to go for a walk,’ he thought. ‘I’ll text Sarah or Rory when I get back.’ He just needed to let out some anxious energy or he’ll be too wired to sleep. Reasoning that the graveyard was a safe place to blow off steam and do random spells that would get his mind off of whatever Ethan might be thinking right now, he made his way out of the house with his satchel and a spell book.

He used to feel watched whenever he walked alone at night, looking back he probably was and maybe still is. Didn’t matter now that he knew how to protect himself and there weren’t many vampires left to be out attacking him. The council more or less respected the fang gang enough to leave them alone, unless of course they needed something. Even with not having full control over his powers, high council members still seemed afraid or watchful of him. He wondered about how maybe he could keep them off his back if he was better at spellcasting. 

Benny thought about this as he crossed the road into the oldest graveyard in town, there was no space left to add anyone new but sometimes plots would be dug up. The council owned it which might have been their last send off to anyone that crossed them, seeing as most graves were unmarked but the victims were reported with having the same scarring around their necks or bite marks on their bodies. None of the vampires actually hung around here, not even a graveyard keeper to stay up with appearances. At least, not one he could tell was anywhere. 

He sat down, a book opened on his lap and an uneasy feeling weighed on him as he read through spells that were off limits. Not because they were wicked or destructive but because his grandma thought he wasn’t capable enough to try them yet. ‘She’s always underestimating me, maybe if she actually taught me instead just scolding when I mess up, I might improve quicker,’ he thought bitterly. Angrily flipping and reading through the pages, he traced his fingers across the words; lists of simple glamours and instructions for potions and spells that didn’t interest him.

Sitting in the graveyard by himself, Benny thought how he needed someone who could teach him something worth his time. Someone that would trust in his abilities to control his powers and understood the good this magic could do if he used it right. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid of him and knew a lot about the old books that even his grandma wouldn’t touch…. Someone like a certain vampire he knew.

He would need Jesse’s help.


	2. The Temperance & The Chariot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm kinda shocked that i could write another chapter this long and i'm even more shocked that people seem to enjoy this but i'm glad about both things. hopefully after this fic is done i can do more short lighthearted stuff :)

Benny was starting to have second thoughts about his decision to ask Jesse for help. Maybe it was the fact he had to cut his palm and had to hope that some other bloodsucker wouldn’t show up at the smell of blood. At this point he would rather it be some random vampire that was ready to kill him instead of being one of his friends and having to explain himself. It wasn’t made any better when he used a spell to improve his chances of Jesse showing up, and he didn’t feel that lucky or as confident as he was at the start of summoning the vampire. Even so, it didn’t seem to be working.

It only took an hour for him to be ready to give up and call it a night, thinking he should text Ethan and try to give some sort of apology, although he was unsure what he would say. He started to make his way out of the town’s graveyard because for some reason he thought that it was a good idea to go there by himself when doing this. In his defense no one ever hung around there, not even vampires, so he wasn’t too scared of being attacked. Although, the sky was getting to be pitch black and the wind was picking up. The cold air nipped at his ears and nose as he walked past unmarked grave after unmarked grave, a sudden and harsh wind blowing past him for a second. 

The moon hung in the sky dully and the only light he had to see anything was a lousy street lamp at the front gate, it flickered every couple seconds leaving him in darkness for long moments at a time. His eyes had adjusted to it quickly but he couldn’t see far even with the light on, he tried to ignore the shadowy parts of the graveyard. A sound of rustling leaves came from behind him during one of the minutes of murky blackness and he began to walk faster not wanting to stop and look behind him. ‘It’s probably just a raccoon, Benny. Just keep walking and stop freaking yourself out,’ he thought to himself trying not to panic run out of there in case something or more likely someone was stalking him. Running always made it worse. 

He picked up his pace when the sound repeated at all sides of him, the rush of wind following with it which was an awful sign that someone finally showed up. Who was the worrying part. Despite his better judgement he looked behind him, feeling relief when he didn’t see anything but only for a second before having petrifying fear come crashing back to him. His heart pounding loud and hard in his ears as he was regretting everything about this night. Looking forward again he could just make out a figure standing in front of him, bright yellow eyes peering from the darkness, hungry and inhuman. There wasn’t anywhere he could run, even if there was he wouldn’t be able to outrun a vampire anyways. He was dead meat.

Then the street lamp flickered back on but before he could make out who it was they had ran towards him, within the blink of an eye they were already grabbing him by his face. The bloodsucker forced his neck to stretch out and held him close to their body with unyielding strength, even what felt like his final moments he couldn’t help to think why he never noticed how a vampire's hands felt like a corpse, cold and boney. The underlying smell of death was as strong as their grip. 

He closed his eyes tight refusing to let his tears fall as one hand held in him place, the other covering his mouth. Benny was shaking at the feeling of fangs against his skin but before they finally got on with it they whispered in his ear, the voice more than familiar and intimate. 

“Hey Weir,” it was Jesse and suddenly Benny wished it actually was some other vamp that came to eat him. Jesse let out a laugh, letting go of Benny who quickly stumbled away and leaned onto a gravestone to catch his breath. He wiped his wet eyes, trying to recollect himself hurriedly. “It has been a minute since we’ve last talked, hasn’t it? You would think you’d be smart enough not go wondering by yourself with fresh blood on you. Might draw in the wrong crowd.” Jesse teased with a wink.

“Yeah,” Benny breathed. “Like you?” A part of him kind of hated the guy and he hadn’t been quick to trust him at first, but Jesse was too weak to do anything these days so Benny was reassured with the idea that he could easily fight Jesse by himself. Besides, if he was careful Jesse could be real help to him.

“Someone’s snappy tonight. So, how’s this generation’s great spellcaster doing? Learned any new party tricks lately?” Jesse’s sarcasm was thick and there was already a smug smile playing on his lips. Benny knew he was just trying to get under his skin and it was working more than he cared to admit. 

His feelings towards Jesse were complicated to say the least, more so when involving wanting to learn dark magic from the guy. Sure, he hated him for what he did to Sarah and Ethan but he knew if he just played nice until Jesse agreed to help him, eventually he’d get strong enough to keep the bloodsucker in line constantly by himself. It could be argued that it was a little underhanded to use what he would learn against the vampire that would be helping him, but in the end it would be for the greater good. That’s how Benny reasoned it. Because even if he was weak right now there wasn’t any telling if Jesse would stay like that for much longer and who knows if he had a plan to try to take over the town again. Sure, he’s been playing nice with the gang for now, but for long would he keep that up?

“Funny thing, I think I’m tired of just knowing party tricks.” Benny said, trying to shift the conversion in his favor. “But I’m sure you couldn’t help with that.”

“Oh?” Jesse said with curious joy pulling his lips into a devious smirk. “Is that so? You know, I think I might be able help.” He faked thinking about it, folding his arms and looking up at the inky sky but his face gave him away in his desire. Both boys stood across from each other, Benny putting a few headstones of distance between them out of caution. “Mind if I ask why the sudden interest in my help?”

Benny balled his fists tightly, still careful not to cause his cut to bleed more. Of course Jesse is just as nosy as he is dramatic. Benny had no want to explain his current falling out with his boyfriend, but if it got Jesse to help him quicker then what was the harm in telling him parts of what happened…. And besides what damage could he even do with that information? It’s not like Ethan wouldn’t go straight to Sarah to ask her for advice, Sarah would likely later tell Erica and Rory would find out at one point because no one in his friend group knew what privacy was. Thinking about it Ethan and Sarah were probably talking right now, he wasn’t sure what Sarah would say and the uncertainty made Benny’s stomach turn.

“I figured if anyone would know where I could learn something that isn’t so… on the friendlier side of things it would be the guy who’s known to murder warlocks.” Benny answered not wanting to confide in the vampire just yet. He could dance around it just for a moment longer to figure out what to say.

Jesse nodded his head pretending to consider his words. “Well, I’m flattered that you trust me but what would your boyfriend think? Wouldn’t he get jealous of us spending so much alone time together?” Jesse replied with fake concern. It was moments like these that it made perfect sense that his high school cover was a drama student because he just loved to act. Like acting that he cared whenever it was convenient for him. 

Benny didn’t respond, his glare and tight fists were enough for the vampire as Jesse’s face became intrigued. He raised an eyebrow in interest but his demeanor remained relaxed and casual, posing as if he’s always the one in control of whatever was going on. “You haven’t told him, have you?”

“He knows. Mostly. We’ve talked.” Shit, how did things turn on him so quickly. “It doesn’t matter.” Benny refused to meet Jesse’s gaze.

“Sounds like he didn’t take it well, I’m guessing. Now who would I be if I helped you? I’m many things but I’m no home wrecker.” Jesse said, casting little doubt for helping Benny. His tone created the impression of concern, but the way he brushed off dust from the headstone he was leaning on told a different story. Benny attempted to remain level headed by standing upright and staring just past where Jesse was. 

“Cut the crap, dude. I just-” Benny swallowed his annoyance down. “I just need your help for this one thing, okay? If I can just prove to him what I’m doing is good it’ll work out and he won’t be mad. It’ll be fine.” Even when he wanted the vampire’s help he couldn’t keep himself from getting bothered by how Jesse always tried to annoy him and it worked every time. That didn’t aid the fact he shouldn’t be doing this to begin with, but if he wanted to prove himself this would be his best - and only - bet at doing so.

Jesse narrowed his eyes, easily seeing in all the ways Benny was standoffish and nervous. He half smiled to himself and let his tone and disposition drop into his innate sense of command. This was just the situation he had been hoping for and he didn’t even need to manipulate it for his favor, all the pieces had been handed to him and he knew where to place them.

“What exactly are you trying to do?” Jesse asked, his face dropping to be forced and emotionless. Which should have been a red flag to Benny because whenever Jesse suddenly got serious his intent was never good, but he kept trying to convince himself otherwise. 

“I’m just trying to protect him. I know I’m not as useful as I could be, I could be stronger and maybe... dark magic could give me that power.” Benny answered, sounding more frustrated than he should let on. It was mostly the truth. He would do anything to keep Ethan safe, but he didn’t summon Jesse to talk about his feelings. He wanted to forget about them and just practice until he was able to show Ethan that he was right, that off limits magic could be used for good. Benny wanted to learn every secret of magic he could to use for what he wanted.

“Then what's the problem? You’re a Weir, a descent of some the most powerful warlocks this town has ever seen. Do what you think is right and if he can't see that what you're doing is good then show him, convince him until he understands.” While giving his little speech Jesse walked towards Benny, his hand gestures confident. Jesse seemed to be ‘by any means necessary’ kind of guy.

“What do you mean?” Benny instinctively stepped backwards, still wary of the vampire and his sudden shift in tone.

“Listen, Ben, I-”

“Don't call me that.”

“Right, whatever,” Jesse stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “I've met and killed some of the best spellcasters. Do you think I wouldn’t have picked up a few things throughout the years?” He was grinning now, his fangs visible and waves of unease ran through Benny's body, but ignored his brain telling him there were too many red flags. That he should run away while he still could, tell Ethan he was sorry and didn't mean any of it and hope all would be well. Instead he kept thinking about what Jesse could offer him and how the thought of learning from the vampire that tried to kill him a year ago was just as terrifying as it was tempting. As Jesse kept making his way closer, Benny would in turn take more steps backwards, his nerves getting the better of him until he tipped on overgrown vines and fell onto the dirt floor. 

Jesse held out his hand and smiled softly. Any attempt to seem genuine and friendly was casted into shadows as the street lamp’s light flickered, covering them in darkness. Benny could still see Jesse’s eyes that were a shiny yellow, his pupils mere black slits. “I can show you a lot of things you don’t know.”

Benny squinted up at the other boy, not immediately accepting his hand and asked, “What kind of things?” 

Jesse’s grin widened, he looked more devious then the Chesshire cat, not that Benny could tell. “Spell books even your grandmother is too scared and weak to use. I think we got off on the wrong foot, let this be my way of making amends. Say sorry to all the ancestors I drained dry and the times I’ve gone after you. We’re not so different. So, what do you say?” He kept his extended hand out, a deal with the devil was an understatement to how it felt.

Benny was sweating and he knew he should’ve come to his senses and told Jesse to go shove a cross up his ass, but he didn’t. He sat there and thought about it like the answer wasn’t the most obvious choice in the world. Just say no. But then again, he had Jesse come to him….

“And what about Ethan?” 

“I won’t say a word. He doesn’t need to know anything he doesn’t have to. So, water under the bridge?” Jesse’s voice was tonic and held false reassurance. Benny couldn’t look away from his cat like eyes.

Warning sirens went off in Benny’s head, he knew better, should know better. ‘It’s a trap! He’s lying! He’s going to ruin your life like he tried with Sarah!’ Yet, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, continuing to sit on the floor and think how maybe he was right to go to Jesse for help. He was willing. He understood what Benny was trying to do. And most importantly he wouldn’t tell Ethan. 

Benny went to raise his hand, unsure if he wanted to accept the handshake or slap Jesse away. In a last ditch effort to come to his senses, he considered his options. He still didn’t trust Jesse totally but the vampire knew things that he wouldn’t learn anywhere else, and if Benny could learn enough to prove to Ethan that this kind of magic could be used for good. That it wasn’t all inherently bad, that he wasn’t incompetent or useless…. Even then, could he truly justify going behind his boyfriend’s back about this? Besides, punching Jesse would also feel so satisfying, he thought briefly. 

As he made his final decision the street lamp flickered, he accepted the offer with a handshake and the light returned, blinding him for a moment as his eyes readjusted. Blinking away the spots in his eyes he could see that Jesse was gone. In his moment of confusion, a voice broke through the crisp night air, he turned his head to see Sarah coming towards him. Glancing back he stared between his raised hand and where Jesse had stood in front of him. He sat dumbfounded on the dirt ground. 

“Benny?” Sarah asked standing in front of him concerned. “What are you doing here by yourself? Where’s Ethan? Are you okay? Why is your hand cut open? Benny!” Her rapid fire questions and Jesse’s sudden disappearance had fried his brain for a moment, all he could do was stare at her not sure how to answer anything. Honestly he could barely hear what she was saying, still thinking about what he just agreed to. His mind a foggy mist.

“I-uh…. Hi-hey. I’m-I’m fine. I’m okay.” Benny replied, still trying to process everything. “I’m okay.” Sarah helped him off the ground and as he dusted himself off the light flickered off again. He noted her eyes didn’t shine yellow in the dark like Jesse’s.

“Why-why are you here?” He asked.

“I smelled your blood and I got worried something happened.” She said, her tone uneasy and Benny didn’t need to see her face to know it matched her voice. “Nothing happened, right?” 

“No, no.” He shook his head even if she likely couldn’t tell. ‘If she doesn’t know where Ethan is then maybe he hasn’t told her what happened yet,’ he thought. “I’m not hurt. I just tripped, must’ve cut my hand during the fall. Look, it already stopped bleeding.” He lifted his palm to show Sarah and faked a smile. He didn’t like lying to her but she was too much like Ethan, he couldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t understand either.

“Do you need me to fly you home?” She asked slowly, worried and doubtful that he was being fully honest. The lights beamed on and Benny could see her face again, soft with concern.

“Yeah, thanks. That’s-thanks,” Benny replied already feeling dizzy and winded. A feeling of edge weighing in his stomach. “We should hurry.” He added, eyeing the shadowy parts of the graveyard on their way out, thinking Jesse was still watching him. Sarah wrapped her arms around him and even though she was much smaller her vampire strength made it easy for her to carry him home in minutes. He wasn’t sure if the rushed flight home or every other event of tonight was what made him feel sick to his stomach. But he was finally home. He could rest and forget about everything for now and just lay in his bed.

Except he couldn’t rest because he could still feel Sarah’s presence by the window, watching him with shifty eyes and biting her thumb nail out of habit and nerves. He sighed and looked up to see her floating right outside his bedroom window. 

“Come on in,” he motioned for her to come sit on the bed. “Clearly something bugging you. What’s wrong?” She glanced around his room wanting to be careful not to step on the many things laying everywhere in his little mess of magic. Sarah was usually vocal about whatever was on her mind and never really bothered to bite her tongue about anything, blunt but not rude. Benny liked how she spoke her mind and talked back whenever someone deserved it. But right now she seemed hesitant to say anything which was a first.

“Ethan texted me and when I was flying over to his house I smelled your blood and got worried. I thought something happened and I could’ve sworn I smelled someone else but you were all alone. I just want to know what happened. Mostly between you and Ethan.” Sarah explained sitting next to Benny on the bed and staring at his Beard Dragon enclosure. ‘Why was she sounding so nervous?’ “I won’t judge you. Ethan texted me some stuff. I know.” 

Benny felt sick from her words. He knew Ethan would tell her what happened and of course Sarah would think she could help, yet her voice was so soft and even for a vampire she felt safe. It’s funny, as mad as Benny wanted to be he couldn’t find it in himself. He was tired from everything and she had always been different. An outlier for everything. And if she knew some things and wasn’t already scolding him but instead being gentle and trusting then maybe she did understand. Even if only slightly.

“It’s really hard to explain, dude. Like it has been the longest night of my life,” Benny sighed and flopped back onto the bed. Sarah let out a small laugh.

“Even longer than when you had crashed that vampire party freshman year?” She asked playfully.

“Now that was fun. This is total ass. I’m telling you man,” Benny thought how he should tell her what Ethan and him fought about but couldn’t find the right words. “What did he say in the text?”

“He sent like a paragraph but to sum up just that you had some… kinda concerning thoughts on evil Benny and some types of magic and Ethan is just really worried about you. To put it lightly,” Sarah said, brushing the bangs away from her eyes and attentively watching Benny’s reaction. Benny placed both hands on his face and let out a sound of frustration from the back of his throat, clearly not enjoying what he was hearing. 

“Ugh! Just great. That’s exactly what I wanted to avoid,” he shot up from where he was laying and held Sarah’s shoulders lightly. “He’s not scared of me, right?” The vampire searched her friend’s face, seeing total fear in his eyes. She held onto his hands.

“No, Benny, he’s not scared I promise. Listen, I think I understand how you're feeling-” Benny cut Sarah off.

“What? How? It’s not exactly like Erica is afraid of you turning into the evil version of yourself.” He hadn’t meant to snap at her but he couldn’t help it in the moment. He felt dizzy still.

“She’s not worried but I am. Benny, I get scared I’ll lose my humanity and become a bad person.” Sarah said, her voice wavering at the end. He felt awful in that second. He had forgotten about evil Sarah from when his grandma had trapped them with their biggest fears. Sarah was stuck with her evil twin, a version of herself she’s always scared of becoming and Benny could understand why. It hadn’t ever occurred to him that Sarah might still be afraid of becoming that person. And like her, Benny didn’t want to become the dark version of himself but he did see some values to learn from his evil self. Even then, neither of them wanted to hurt the people they were closest to. If that was the case maybe Sarah did understand, to some extent. 

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Benny asked suddenly, terrified of the answer he might get, his heart pounding in his chest. Sarah looked at him for a moment, thinking, before lightly smiling and shaking her head and leaned into him.

“No, just confused.” She answered honestly. Benny’s eyebrows knitted up in confusion and Sarah caught on. “I think you see parts of evil Benny that seem like good traits to have. You don’t know how to be like that so you turn to what he did to see if that helps. You aren’t a bad guy, Benny, you just want something you don’t feel like you have and think dark magic can give you that.” A lump was beginning to form in Benny’s throat, he didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to think about what she said. He could feel a pit of heat grow in his stomach. Sarah had just pegged him for being totally insecure and he didn’t know how to feel besides awful.

“And what about you?” He said, his voice was hoarse yet still defensive and snappy. “Or are you just here to make me feel worse?” Sarah looked slightly hurt by his words but understood he was upset and uncomfortable being confronted, so she let it slide. 

“No, Benny, listen, I think that evil version of myself was a monster, but she knew who she was. She was strong, confident, self assured and was all figured out. I’m jealous of that but I wouldn’t want to be anything like her to know myself better.” It was the truth. Sarah didn’t have much figured out as a human, she was young and didn’t need to, but she knew herself even less as a vampire. It felt like a new identity and she was starting over with learning who she was as a person. The thought scared her. “At least I have forever to figure it out.”

“Yeah,” Benny said coolly. “At least you have that.”

“I get how you feel, Benny.” Sarah said softly. She was trying so hard to be understanding but something about what she said just rubbed Benny the wrong way.

“Do you? Because it really doesn’t feel like we’re in the same boat,” Benny shot back. “Cause last I checked you’re already strong and capable, your other self was just able to recognize that. I’m…” Benny cut himself off not wanting to finish the thought. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just forget it, okay?”

Sarah’s eyebrows knitted up in confusion and worry. “No, Benny what’s really wrong?”

“Nothing! Can we just drop this already?” He felt tired. Turns out vampires knew how to drain a person in more than one way. “I’m fine. I know what I’m doing and there’s no need to worry. I promise.” He faked a big reassuring smile that Sarah wouldn’t buy for a second and he knew it.

“Benny, I’m just trying to help. Why can’t you just-”

“I’m not Jane and I’m not Ethan so stop treating me like you’re my babysitter or something. I don’t need you to try to help me like I'm some kid. Okay?” Benny was getting beyond fed up. Benny’s frustration had surprised Sarah and for a moment and she stared at him in disbelief, she’d never seen him genuinely angry. He’s always tried to keep things lighthearted, but now it was different and the shift shook her up. She swallowed the lump in her throat as a wave of over-protectiveness hit her.

“I’m not doing this because I’m a babysitter, I’m doing this because I’m your friend.” She explained, beginning to match his frustration. “Or did you forget that?” 

Benny suddenly looked taken aback by her words. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought what he should say next, worried he might make things worse. “No, I just- I just want to handle this myself. Can you trust that I am able to do that?” He looked down at his lap, his voice much softer now as he twiddled his thumbs. Sarah was unsure if she should reach out and comfort him, he was still felt too standoffish and instead nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah. I trust you, Benny. If that’s what you want, I’ll let you take care of yourself,” she agreed but a nagging feeling still sat in the back of her brain. She had gotten so used to helping the boys with all their problems that she made them her problems. But that was different, it was always the supernatural they were getting into trouble with, she never had to be there for them in any kind of emotional crisis. The new territory of friendship made her uneasy, but she’d still be there for her friends. Even when they didn’t want her help, she’ll be there when they did.

“Thank you,” Benny said barely above a whisper. He was still a little bothered but at least he felt less wired now. Maybe she won’t get in the way with what Benny had planned with Jesse.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you feel better. I just thought-”

“It’s fine I get it.” Benny stood up and walked over to his bookshelf in the corner of his bedroom, lazily looking for a spell book to read. Doing his best to pretend to be unbothered by anything. “I wasn’t expecting much help anyways.” He added in a murmur. 

“I’ll give you some space… and Benny I know you want to do what you think is best but just please be careful with that magic. You aren’t exactly the best with spells sometimes and I’m just worried you’ll-” 

“Mess up?” He tried not to scuff. “I think I’ll be okay.” ‘I can take care of myself. I can be capable. I’m not useless and I’m not an idiot,’ he thought bitter and harshly. 

“Get some rest, Benny. I’ll see you at school,” Sarah floated over to him and kissed his cheek before climbing out of the window, with one last glance to him she sped off to who knows where at this point, he told himself he didn’t care where. The tension in his body released and he let out a deep breath. Benny stood alone in his bedroom, thinking.

**Author's Note:**

> i appreciate any feed back so i can improve for future chapters !!! i feel like my writing is very wordy and uninteresting/boring at parts (it might just because i have reread this so many times i get sick of looking at it so it might not be that bad lol) but let me know if i did good or okay with this and what you think :)) (also sorry if it feels rushed in any parts i'm trying keep this at five chapters the longest!!!)


End file.
